just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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