did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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