North Korea, Best Korea!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
me + whiskey = a bad person
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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