no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
