watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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