i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
