he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize