I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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