You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
