So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
