But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
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What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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