We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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