Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
