If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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