i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
