the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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