my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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