I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
