Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
