I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
