We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I stole a fireplace last night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dear god my vagina.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
