I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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