Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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