how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
