There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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