do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
