I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
