the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
