I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize