She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
