She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
third nipple confirmed
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
