We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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