Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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