I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
now i know why i became what i already was.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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