Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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