I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
