'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize