I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize