Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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