I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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