is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
