I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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