If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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