I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
