I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
