thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
