Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
