How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
