it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
