Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
my liver is dry heaving
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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