We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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