all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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