i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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