Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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