we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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