I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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